im excited for amazon to start sending packages out by drone because now i can start carrying a sling shot around with me and knock them out of the air and get a present and it will be just like animal crossing
That’d be illegal.
there is no laws in animal crossing
when i was 14, i proposed to this girl in my class and she said yes but our parents said we were too young to get married so we tried to do it in secret and one of my friends found this shady guy to marry us but then the girl broke up with me when she transferred schools and we never got the marriage annulled but i don’t even know if it was official in the first place so long story short, i think i might be married.
if i ever tell you that something is my favorite song dont listen to me im a fucking liar i have more favorite songs than there are babies in china
"I really don’t want to shower but I want to be clean" an autobiography
"Now that I’m in the shower I really dont wanna get out" a sequel
"Now that I’m out, I don’t want to put on clothes" the spin-off
"I’m sitting here in my towel and I must have showered 2 hours ago" the self help booklet
Just some tips I’ve collected from the serial killers of tumblr
just reblogging with my original tags because people liked them:
#murder tips #thats an odd tag #just posting a series of murder tips #nothing big #people reblog this #this is gold #COME ON REBLOG #what can i tag this with so more people will see it #murder #killing #blood #i guess #um #stabby stab #shooty shoot #CATCH A MARLIN #okay thats all i got
My mother actually told me you can dig a hole in the ground and put the body in with chopped up limes it will dissolve every thing but the teeth.
I can just imagine:
"Hey mom, do you know any good murder tips?"
"Hmm, well I know a pretty good one about limes"
I just told my dad that I was reading ways to get away with murder and he says
"Good, your mum is being a bitch lately"
Please dont let my dad on tumblr oh my god